MORE than myself

Discipleship 1:7

Callista was the very meaning of her name: most beautiful. She had long hair, the color and texture of corn silk, which was turned into a fashionable style. Her complexion was light and clear, her frame was slender. Her eyes were an indiscernible color and framed with impossibly long, dark lashes. She was the oldest daughter of a successful sea merchant. She was pampered, loved, and a snob.

Buck had black hair, blue eyes, was tan in complexion, tall, and well-built. If one would ask him, he couldn’t tell why he liked Callista, but he did. Sure, he could say like most fellows that it was because she was pretty and she came from an affluent family — which she was and she did. But that wasn’t it for Buck.

In fact, he had more reason to dislike her. Buck, for all of his lavish attention and good looks, was not even considered by her because he was an orphan; he had nothing to offer her. Yes, her father had taken him under his wing. Yes, her mother disciplined her when she mistreated the young man. Yes, her brothers had become his friends. Yes, the youngest of the family adored him. This wasn’t enough for Callista. Buck was penniless. She had nothing but disdain for him.

Still, he persisted in pursuing her. Ask him why, he still could not tell you. He consistently walked the fine line of being kind and attentive to her while maintaining respect for himself in the midst of her snobbishness and barbs.

He eventually offered her the one possession of value that he owned: a necklace with a stone the color of deep purple with hints of blue and red. Why? It was because he loved her. Recognizing a quality item when she saw it, having been given so many from her doting father and want-to-be-suitors, she received it. Outwardly, her attitude was flippant about it, but inwardly, this gift had special meaning; this one was from a man who had nothing else to offer. From that point on, little by little, her heart, hardened by prior emotional wounds, began to soften; and her snobby veneer meant to protect, began to crack.

One day, some time later, she made an astonishing realization which she verbalized to Buck: “I never thought it was possible, but I love you more than I love myself.”

And there went great multitudes with him (Jesus): and he turned, and said unto them, If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple. Luke 14:25-26 KJV

He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Matthew 10:37 KJV

It is believed that Jesus had a great following at this time, whether due to His feeding them or other miracles that He performed, who knows. It was at this time that Jesus deliberately said the verses above that caused many to turn away and follow Him no more. Are we supposed to hate others? Of course not! But our love for others and for ourselves is to pale in comparison to our love for God. Our relationship with Jesus is to be above all earthly things and all of our other relationships.

In Luke 9:57-62 we find one man offering to follow Jesus but Jesus made it plain he would be persecuted by being refused hospitality, thereby having no where to lay his head. Are we willing to follow Christ when it’s inconvenient and costs us? Jesus called the second man but he wanted to delay commitment until his father died. This man’s heart was not truly after Jesus. We are all called. Are we delaying what God has purposed for us until it suits us? Another man said he would follow Jesus, but again, he wanted to first tell his family goodbye. We are not to shirk responsibilities to our families or mistreat others, but we are to prefer Jesus above anyone and anything else and surrender our will. Do we?

And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God. Luke 9:62 KJV

We must keep our eyes fixed on Jesus and what He has called us to do. Divided attention will result in failure (Luke 16:13). Jesus was stressing the importance of commitment to Him so that we can succeed in our Christian walk.

They on the rock are they, which, when they hear, receive the word with joy; and these have no root, which for a while believe, and in time of temptation fall away. And that which fell among thorns are they, which, when they have heard, go forth, and are choked with cares and riches and pleasures of this life, and bring no fruit to perfection. Luke 8:13-14 KJV

Roots are required to not fall away. Cares, riches, and pleasures of this life must be set aside in order to have the relationship with Jesus that He desires.

For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it? Luke 14:28 KJV

Count the cost of commitment to Jesus. Do you think it’s more than you’re willing to pay? Are you willing to live life without Him to find out?

Maybe you’re afraid you’ll “fail” at the Christian walk. Don’t fret. Once we make the decision to surrender all to follow Jesus, He begins to live through us.

I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20 KJV

And …

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Philippians 4:13 KJV

Maybe you’ve “tried” salvation before, maybe you’re trying now and are having a difficult time. As our next verse points out, humble people are patiently trusting on God to work things out.

Better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof: and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. Ecclesiastes 7:8 KJV

If you’re feeling that gentle tugging on your heart, then join me. Choose Jesus and make the commitment to follow Him. So maybe some of us get off to a rough start, the point is, we began and …

Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ: Philippians 1:6 KJV

He didn’t bring us this far to let us go. He is persistent and loves us still — even when we are unlovely. Let’s keep our eyes focused on Jesus and plow on though the ground may be hard and seems unyielding; He will see us through. Let’s remain committed. And hopefully, as we continue to surrender ourselves to His love and His purpose, we will have a realization like Callista did with Buck, and say to God, “I didn’t think it possible, but I love You more than I love myself.”