Want What You Need

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A minister friend of ours gave a wonderful illustration that has been brought to my memory recently.

Something of his had broken, (I don’t recall what), and he went to the hardware store in search of what he wanted to repair it.  He browsed around and had difficulty deciding what would do the job.  He snagged a man who worked there, told him what he needed repaired, and showed him what he was looking at.  The salesclerk told him what he wanted was no good.

“You can buy it if you want but that isn’t what you need.”  The clerk then proceeded to give our friend what he needed and it worked.

“The part was what I wanted,” he told the congregation, “but it’s not what I needed.

A relative of ours is going to be laid off in the near-future.  As the couple is used to two incomes, and hers is the main one, I felt for them.  I went to bed with tears in my eyes and prayers on my lips for them that night.  Then I got to thinking about the many people that are in their situation, or who have been in their situation for a while now, mostly due to the very destructive covid.  My desire is to encourage our relatives and you during this time.

As I mentioned before, we have been a one income family pretty much our entire married life.  Bob and I agreed that when the children came I would stay home with them.  No one was raising our children except for us.  When I lived at home, Mum was our anchor.  She “kept the home fires burning”, so to speak, which gave Dad the freedom to provide for us financially.  That brought a great deal of stability to our family.  Bob had pretty much the same as far as that goes so we wanted that for our children.  Mum did get a part time job when we were older but she was nearly always home to greet us when we returned from school.

Homeschooling spoiled that for us.  I wasn’t gifted enough to balance being a housewife, homeschooling, and working outside of the home so we’ve never had the benefit of another income.  I’ve mentioned in other posts that it was hard.  We went without “things” that other families had to fulfill the mission of my being home to raise and educate our children.  The thing is, we never really suffered for our choice.  On the contrary, it has been an exceedingly wonderful blessing.  I wouldn’t trade all of the wealth of the world for what we have gained in character as a family.

Yes, there were tough times.  When we were very first married, I bounced some checks.  Bob used the bank card for gas and forgot to tell me.  Next thing we know, a financial ball of deficit began rolling.  I never really understood banks punishing people like that.  I mean, if I had the money, checks wouldn’t be bouncing, right?  So take more money.  Yeah, that helps.  Anyway, the lesson of communication involving finances was quickly learned.

There was the time our auto insurance was due and I couldn’t pay it.  There simply wasn’t enough.  We were blessed if we carried a $100 balance from one paycheck to the next.  There was no savings account for me to raid.  I remember taking the bill and saying, “LORD, this is required by law.  There’s nothing I can do about it.  You said You’d provide all of our needs according to Your riches in glory.  We need this so here You go.  I don’t know how, but thanks in advance for taking care of it.”

Bob hit a deer on his way to work.  After making the necessary repairs to the car, we took what remained and paid our bill.  I still find it ironic that we used what was left of the insurance check to pay the insurance bill.  Don’t tell me that God doesn’t have a sense of humor.

Do you remember me telling you when the girls wanted iPods that Bob told them if they wanted them they’d have to pray them in because he couldn’t afford them?  Well, they prayed and all of them had iPods given to them plus one.

That’s the way it’s been with us.  We haven’t always gotten what we wanted and we certainly haven’t gotten what we wanted in our timetable.  Some wants have been tucked away in the closets of our minds for years.  But we have never failed to have what we needed--and often times we have been blessed with what we wanted.  The camper that we purchased four years ago wasn’t necessarily what we wanted, but when I walked inside it felt like home.  I knew it was meant for us.  God knew it was what our family needed.

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Same with our “new” truck.  Bob’s prior truck was taken from him through a wreck over ten years ago.  Ten years we have limped by with different trucks that were never equal to what satan had stolen from him.  I kept quoting the scripture that when the thief is found he must restore sevenfold (Proverbs 6:31).  The truck we just purchased isn’t exactly what we wanted, but for what we’re going to use it for it’s what we need.  You know what?  It’s the nicest truck Bob has had in years.  I look at him sitting in it and I think: It’s like he sat down and they built the truck around him.  It was meant for him.  Not what I would have went out of my way to buy, but it’s the one.

God always provides.  Always.  It may not be what we want when we want but it’s always what we need.  And, I might add, no matter how frustrated we are in the waiting, He provides on time.  People may not be obedient to God to supply a need when He directs, but He always provides on time.

Are you willing to join me in laying down what you think you want for what God says you need?  I testify to you today that His desires for us are so closely related to what we want that in many cases we aren’t going to notice a difference.  As a matter of fact, we will most likely find praise escaping our lips for what He has provided.  It may not be exactly what we thought we wanted, but we will find that it is exactly what we needed.  In time, we will find it to be the better thing.  Let’s give Him a chance to give us His best for Father God is faithful and good.




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As a single woman, I was excited when a friend of the family had a dream of me standing at the altar in a wedding gown.  I was radiantly beautiful and filled with joy.  She didn’t see much of the groom, just enough to know that he was black-haired.  She was as giddy about her revelation as if I’d told her that day that I was engaged to be married. 

My eventual upcoming wedding brought excitement, joy, and reverential fear of the unknown.  My anticipation eclipsed the fear.  Bob was quite the catch.  The LORD had blessed me with this man.  We were well suited one for another.  All would be well.  Only, it wasn’t.  Life has a way of banging us up pretty good sometimes.

Mum had a vision of me in a wedding gown years later.  This vision was different from our friend’s in that I was not looking forward in joy and beauty.  I, instead, was looking over my shoulder at the very, very long train behind me.  (For the record, my actual wedding gown was made of ivory lace with a handkerchief hem; I had no train.)  The train represented the cares of the world that I was dragging behind me (Mark 4:19).  We had 3 children in less than 4 years of marriage.  Money was tight.  But the thing that tore at me most was the stress from Bob’s job in law enforcement that drove him to levels of anger that I never saw coming.  I felt isolated.  I felt cheated of the man I thought I married.  Sometimes I questioned God’s wisdom in joining us together.

I knew the man I loved was still in there.  I saw glimpses of him.  But it wasn’t enough.  I wanted him to counsel with somebody and work things out but he wouldn’t.  His unwillingness to reach out and his outbursts were vey damaging.  What’s worse was the damage I was creating with my unforgiveness and resentment toward him.  Instead of joy, anticipation, and the radiant beauty of a bride, I had become a haggard, bitter, and ugly wife.  Oh, I fought all of the negativity, fought it with all my might, but I never seemed to get a total grip on it because I was trying to remedy what was going on in our family largely in my own strength.  If Bob were to be honest, he’d say it was the same for him.  Being an incredibly strong man, physically and mentally, he isn’t accustomed to depending on anyone or anything else.

I think, when my cesspool began to drain, and I had little left to look at, what hurt me the most were two things:

1. That I hadn’t been stronger for Bob’s sake.  I didn’t take things to the LORD as I should.  I boiled in my own anger rather than peer in and be honest about where it was coming from.  I knew I shouldn’t feel the way I should, but I was too ashamed to give it to the only One who could do anything about it.

2. I was hurt that Bob didn’t turn to me with his troubles.  I was angry with him for coping with the worst of situations the way he did–the only way He knew how–he stuffed what was going on.  He didn’t share his pain with me, his helpmate, the one pledged to him “for better or for worse”.  He shut me out.  What he viewed as protection I viewed as rejection.  After years of this type of struggle, I was emotionally bankrupt.  I was devoid of my emotions.  Dead.  I went to God and stood naked before Him.

“I can’t do this,” I confessed to Him.  “I can’t love and forgive Bob on my own.  I don’t have anything left.”  In exchange for my nakedness, God clothed me with strength, peace, love, and, so vital to me surviving my then broken heart, . . . hope.

A friend of mine just recently told me how she took advantage of the kids playing outside.  She went into her sunlit bedroom, stripped down to her birthday suit, and waited for her husband.  She was warmed to her toes when, after 15 years of marriage and added, unwanted pounds, he took one look at her and said, “God, you’re beautiful.”  He didn’t see the pain of their pasts, both as individuals and as a couple.  What he saw was a picture of the bride of his youth, growing in grace, being made whole, offering herself and all that she is to him and him only.

That’s a picture of Jesus and those who He calls His own.

Marriage is hard work.  Anyone who tells you differently is trying to sell you beach front property in a swamp.  Likewise, being a disciple of Christ is hard work.  However, staying committed to both brings a rich sweetness that can’t be explained; it must be experienced.

I wouldn’t trade Bob for anyone.  He is God’s chosen for me.  Some days we drive each other nuts, but we’re nuts hanging in the same tree.  We don’t always know what we’re doing but God does.

Neither would I trade the road we’ve traveled together, potholes, boulders, and all, for anything.  Romans 8:28 stands: God still makes all things work together for good to those who love Him, to those who are the called according to His purpose.  We can change our minds as to whether or not we want to believe God, but He hasn’t changed His mind.  Tests have become testimonies when left in His capable hands.

Words alone aren’t enough to express the gratitude I feel for God’s saving grace and His mercy extended toward us.  I can tell other broken couples that there is Hope.  His name is Jesus.  I can’t explain how, but He makes all things new, both as individuals and as couples.  And He does it after we stand naked before Him.  Expose the dirt, the pain, the shame, the wounds, expose it all, and lay it at His feet.  It may not be the type of gift we would want, but it’s just what He’s always wanted: transparent hearts yearning after Him.  When we do this, all He sees is someone presenting themselves wholly to Him, heart, soul, mind, and strength.

Stay committed to your spouse (where applicable).  Stay committed to God.  Let’s not offer Jesus a haggard “wife”, one consumed with the bitterness, unforgiveness, or the cares of this world.  Instead, let’s be a joyful and radiant Bride who is fully trusting in Him and is eager for His return.

Join me today in “getting naked” before God.  That’s the place where things are made right and blessings flow.

*Despite your situation, reaching out for help and support is no cause for shame.  Doing so may save yourself and your loved ones a lot of unnecessary grief.  Please don’t struggle alone.  We were never meant to do life alone.

Springing Up Winnie

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Years ago we had a neighbor named Winnie.  Winnie was what one might call a “salt of the earth” type of person.  She was plain in appearance and very practical.  While I drag out curtains and linens from my attic to usher in the change of seasons, she owned a single wreath in which the center piece could be switched to mark the seasons.  That was it.

She had a quick wit, was well versed, had a good sense of humor, was very conversational, and was an overall nice person to know.  I enjoyed having her as a neighbor.

Winnie loved flowers and, given her simplistic nature, opted for perennial flowers and greenery.  It was not unusual to see her digging in the dirt or planning where or what she would sink next.  She was totally at ease in her yard.

Some years into our neighborship, Winnie got cancer.  She battled.  And every time she ended one treatment she guessed what her new hair color would be.  Yes, it grew back different from her original mousy brown.  If memory serves, even the texture of her hair changed.  She accepted that challenging part of her life with the grace and humor that reflected her relationship with God until, at last, she succumbed to that horrible disease.

Living between two highways, I don’t normally walk the road.  I especially don’t have much cause to walk in front of Winnie’s former home.  But this past spring, as I walked that stretch of highway, I paused and smiled as I gazed upon the loveliness of her plants from years ago.  They stand as a testament to her simple, beautiful, faith filled life, and return every year, bringing along with them memories of Winnie.  Thinking of Winnie and her flowers made me wonder what I will leave behind that may bring back memories of me to others.  Have you ever wondered what you will leave behind?

Not so long ago, Bob was considering his lot in life; that is, having no sons on which to pass on his name.  In a house full of females he is odd man standing.  It was in this tumult of thoughts that Bob heard today’s featured song and his attitude changed.  Suddenly, having a son on which to pass on his name, his legacy, wasn’t of utmost importance.

Maybe some of us will be immortalized in history.  But, given the current atmosphere here in the United States of America (and perhaps other places in the world), while we are witnessing history being distorted and destroyed, having our names in books doesn’t ensure remembrance either.  (If your name is to be found in a book, make sure it’s the Book of Life mentioned in Revelation 20:15.  For anyone whose name is not found in it will be thrown into the lake of fire.  Not good!)  What does guarantee your memory here on planet earth?  Nothing, really.  That is why Jesus is the only name to remember.  Bob could have seven sons but would his name echo through the  generations?  His name, probably not.  But the essence in which he raised them, most likely, yes.

One day we will all stand before our Creator and we will answer to Him and Him alone for the gift of life He has given to us.  He’s not going to inquire about the houses we owned, or the cars we drove, the colleges our kids went to or the prestige, fame, or fortune we may or may not have had.  His only question: “What did you do with My Son, Jesus?”  Ultimately we are only one of two things: We are believers in Christ Jesus, making us sons and daughters of God or . . . we are not.

How you feel today is of no consequence.  There are days I don’t feel married but it doesn’t change the fact that I am.  Regardless of how you feel, are you or are you not a child of God?  I hope you will join me today with a resounding “Yes!”  For everything else in this life is insignificant in the light of eternity.


A Good Man

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(May this be of some encouragement to you men.)

Our pastor recently announced that he is taking another pastorate.  Not attending our church at the time, I didn’t witness firsthand the broken, hurting mess into which he entered, but you should see the work he and his family have done.  It is more than commendable, it may be considered somewhat of a miracle.  But do you know what thought jarred me when I was pondering his departure?  I wonder if whoever takes his place is going to make us feel as safe as he has.  “Safe” is such an overused word now that I almost hate to write it, but that is how Pastor Chris makes people feel.  One of the first things I heard him say as a pastor is that if he knew of any woman being abused he would go to that man and take care of it.  Given his size, I wouldn’t doubt it.  In fact, years later, he would mention in one of his sermons that he thought he could take nearly any man he knew–except for maybe my Bob.  He wasn’t sure he’d ever want to contend with him 🙂 .

That was one of my lures to Bob.  I felt so incredibly protected by him.  I didn’t fear the “outside world”; I had my own personal bodyguard.  However, a man doesn’t have to be large in size to cause the people around him to feel that way.  I’ve met men who look like formidable defenders but I don’t feel safe in their presence.  The opposite is true of men who may be smaller but I feel totally covered while in their company.  I personally believe that is one of the factors of telling if you are in the presence of a good  man: Do you feel safe?  Protected?  Guarded?  His strength is a gift.

There are many different ways to feel safe.  The obvious is physical.  But what about mental?  A good man considers the ideas of others.  He can accept the idea and the presenter is strengthened and perhaps a plan is developed to see that idea to fruition.  Or if the idea is rejected, a good man does so in such a way that the presenter’s dignity is still in tact and they are encouraged to continue in their quests and pursue their dreams.  His consideration is a gift.

There is also emotional safety.  Many men that I know grew up believing that men don’t cry.  It’s a sign of weakness, or so the uninformed in their lives have taught them.  John 11:35 says, “Jesus wept.”  You can’t get anymore manly than Jesus.  The greatest Man in history wept.  A good man can be trusted with your tears and your laughter and he will also trust you with his.  The most precious tears I remember my dad sharing is when he was in prayer or when he was apologizing to us over something wrong that he had done.

Did you catch that?  My dad cried tears of repentance.

Years ago we had an optometrist and he and his wife yearned for children but couldn’t have any.  Miraculously, they conceived.  I was so happy for them.  I sent a card to them and my note in part was: You have waited for so long for this moment and you are going to want to do everything perfect.  Rest assured,  you will not.  What I recommend to you is that you take your mistakes and failings and treat them as opportunities to apologize and teach your child about the grace, forgiveness, and redemption of our perfect God. 

A good man owns his mistakes.  He doesn’t blame others for them.  He apologizes when wrong and his apology doesn’t include the words, “You made me . . . ”  He owns his actions and words.  And when others sin against him he gives grace, realizing that he is capable of committing the same sins.  His repentance and forgiveness is a gift.

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I admire men.  There are few things that are more appealing to me than seeing a man hard at work.  Whether he’s carrying a briefcase, packing a gun, tossing hay bales, stocking shelves, sweating over the Word, digging dirt, pounding nails, turning a wrench, performing surgery, searching for a cure, whatever.  Honest work is honorable.  I guess that goes back to the scripture that a man who doesn’t work doesn’t deserve to eat.

There are few things sexier to me than seeing Bob work in his garage.  I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true (unless he’s grappling with swearing over the tool that slipped and his knuckle got sliced 😉 ).  I marvel over Bob’s capacity to fix the many things he has repaired over the course of our marriage.  I asked him once, “How do you know how to do all of this stuff?”  His answer totally surprised me.  “I don’t,” he said, “I wing it.”  Well, I testify to you today that he wings it pretty good.  Just for the record, the most attractive man ever?  The man whose heart is bowed in humility before the LORD.  His service to others is a gift.

A good man, out of love for God, family, and country, isn’t afraid to try.  Let me rephrase that.  Maybe he is afraid, but he does what he does afraid and does it anyway out of love.  Remember that phrase from long ago, Do it afraid?  I have a quotation tucked in my mind when I feel fear fluttering like so many butterflies in my belly and threatening to close off my throat.  The quotation is something like this: At the end of my life, it is not the things that I did do that I will regret so much but the things that I didn’t do.  His effort is a gift.

Men, you are pleasing to your Creator.  You are good husbands and good fathers.  Your life is filled with wonder.  All of what you desire is already in you.  It is how God made you.  Commit to seeing yourselves the way Father God sees you.  Cooperate with Holy Spirit in molding you into the men you were created to be.  No matter what earthly models you have had, there is no one more concerned or invested in your life than your heavenly Father.  I know giving your hearts and hands to the unseen and the unknown is frightening but I encourage you to do it afraid.  Do it anyway.  Do it for God.  Do it for those you love.  Do it for yourself.  You deserve to give yourself a chance.  And not just one chance, but as many chances as you need.  You are loved, men.  And you are needed in ways and to lengths that you can not imagine.  I challenge you to join yourself wholeheartedly to God today and let your adventure begin.  This is the greatest gift that you could ever give to God, yourself, and others.

Happy Father’s Day to the man who raised me.  I love you Dad!

Happy Father’s Day to the man with whom I share my life and made a family.  I love you Robert!

A Happy Father’s Day to all of you dads out there.

Men, rememeber: Do not be consumed with real or perceived failings or mistakes for they are all opportunities for grace, forgiveness, and redemption in God’s hands.  What the world needs now, what the world has always needed, is good men.  Families, communities, states and nations all need men who will rise up and live out the biblical standard to be the priests, providers, and protectors that God has ordained you to be.  Be those men.  We need you!

He Loves Me

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(The Proclamation of) The Daisy

I snap off the last daisy to be seen.

I pluck the long, narrow, white petals one by one and rehearse:
“He loves me, he loves me not . . .”

At last, 3 petals remain.

“He loves me, he loves me not . . .”

I stare in wonder at the round, yellow head, with the last petal still attached.

It proclaims: “He loves me!”

At the sound of shuffling in the thick, green grass,

I look up, shielding my eyes from the bold, beautiful sun.

He strolls across the lawn,

confidently wearing that familiar boy-like smile

beneath the shadow of his favorite ball cap.

One more pleasant glance at the daisy

and a wistful sigh for days of fleeting youth.

I toss the daisy aside and take his hand in mine.

I smile.  I know he loves me.

~Christi Marie

Love is a splendid thing.  It makes the homely attractive.  It makes the poor rich.  It makes the weak strong.  It makes the old young.  It makes the captive free.  It makes the broken whole.  It sets the lonely in families.  It remembers those who were forgotten and forgets the pain of an offense.   

In I Corinthians chapter 13, the Apostle Paul says it like this:

Love suffers long, and is kind; love envies not; love vaunts not itself, is not puffed up,

Does not behave itself rudely, seeks not her own, is not easily provoked, keeps no record of evil;

Rejoices not in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;

Bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails . . . .

Love never fails.  Never.

Look around.  What do you see?  Failing.  Why?  Selfishness.  Everything love builds and supports, selfishness tears down and annihilates.  Pride–me, Me, ME!!!  Remember what God did?

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.  John 3:16

God was fully aware of the problem.  The people that He loved, the people He created to have fellowship with Him and be His family, were completely derailed and by their own doing.  He didn’t keep accounts of the wrong they had done or let them wallow in the mess they made.  Instead, He absorbed all of the pain, even unto the death of their sin, through His Son Jesus Christ, so that they might be saved and have eternal life.  He is still doing that for us today.  That is the epitome of love.  The exact opposite of selfishness.

If all of us could but . . . love.  Just love.  How much simpler would our world be?

It’s hard though, isn’t it?  To lay down injustice.  To give up revenge.  To quit poking the wound.  What if we would do it anyway?  Give it all up?  What if we would take a deep breath and pray, “LORD, there’s no way I’m doing this on my own, but if You’ll help me, I can do this.  Remind me what it felt like to be wholly surrendered to You, trusting You to work all things for my good.  Remind me of my first taste of Your love and deepen it.  Restore unto me the joy of Your salvation.  And help me love the unlovable like You do.”

Life can be good.  Life is good.  We don’t need to pluck the petals off of daisies to know that God loves us.  Just know that He does.  Join me today and take the time to reflect on those moments when Jesus, Lover of our souls, felt as close to us as our own skin.  Let’s not keep Him waiting.  We need Him and our broken world needs us to share His love.


Happy Anniversary Robert.  I Love You.

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Not Much More Than Five Feet Tall

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We received a newsletter from a local church that had painted a mental mural of a family based on passages from Psalm 127 and 128.  When speaking of the wife, apparently being home, raising the children, they asked, “Does she appear to be suppressed by her station in life?”

It gave me pause to remember and ponder.  Bob and I agreed early on that when the children came, I would remain home with them.  They came quicker than we anticipated but they were a welcome addition.  At delivery, Laura was briefly laid at my shoulder where I could get a good look at her and I remember thinking, “Wow, a whole, beautiful, little person.”

I love being a mom.

I have also loved being a homeschooling mom.  When I think what a privilege it has been for me to watch my children grow in wisdom, and knowledge, and stature, and to think that I had a front row seat to it all, I am overwhelmed.  I am literally reduced to tears of gratitude.  They have been and are such a blessing to me.  And to others.  Being a mom is not without its bumps, bruises, and battles, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.  These moments and memories I have had with my children are precious jewels in my treasure chest.  Back to our initial question: Are mothers suppressed?  Not this mother!  Definitely not!

I couldn’t think about being a mom without thinking about my maternal grandmother.  (My paternal grandmother passed away when I was young).  Gram was a delight to me.  She was bright, passionate about life and family, generous with the little she had, readily laughed, and eagerly tried new recipes.  Tell you what, she made the best nut twist cookies I’ve ever eaten in my entire life.  If she’s willing, I hope God lets her bake me a batch when we meet again in Heaven.

In paraded thoughts of Mum, Gram’s only daughter in a satchel full of boys.  To meet Gram, one would never have guessed the life she had with Pap.  Mum describes him as “a hard man”.  He didn’t think girls were worth much.  Though others complimented Mum’s singing, he thought it was okay, but a little eh–whatever that means.  Once when Gram insisted he look over the report cards, he did say Mum’s was the best in the bunch–probably the closest she ever came to receiving a compliment from him even though she graduated second in her class.

Lest you think Mum dissed Pap to me, she didn’t.  I discovered these things as an adult although it didn’t require genius status for me to draw my own conclusions when I was younger.  I know that Pap wasn’t without good qualities, for we are all a strange combination of good and bad.  Pap once threw an abusive brother-in-law in a pond; but then dropped Gram off at the hospital to have a mastectomy.  Alone.  Maybe he couldn’t process that.

Mum said he did soften in his older years, when he became diabetic and had health issues to deal with.  Up until then maybe he counted on his own strength.  He was incredibly strong, straightening a dent in the fender of a Model T with his huge, bare hands.

Still, Mum had a lot to overcome.  Pap didn’t attend her wedding, saying he didn’t lose much there.  That could mortally wound any daughter’s heart . . . .

Here’s the thing: Mum did overcome.

She went on to publish a devotional, kept singing and writing songs, made a 45 record, and become a minister.  Like Gram, she’s one smart cookie; ever studying, trying new recipes, and crafting.  She has a tender heart for the downtrodden and has for years lent a listening ear to those who need it.  She’s a good friend.  She’s thoughtful and giving.  What I appreciate the most, her spiritual insight.  Other than the few little prayers Gram taught her as a child, and a stern warning that “God doesn’t like that” when she imitated Pap’s foul language as a child, she had no knowledge of God.  Pap had reneged on his word that Gram could attend church after they wed so they were for better or worse, an overall “heathen” family.  Yet look how far she has come.

I’m proud of Mum.  She didn’t bring her wounds into mothering my brother and me.  Was she without faults?  No.  Who among us is?  But there is simply something grande about knowing where she came from as a child and the woman she has come to be.  There is hope in Jesus Christ.  Living a hard life doesn’t need make one a hard person.  Gram proved it.  Mum proved it.  The wounds of the past needn’t be carried into the future and injected into the next generation.  Wounds can be healed.  And out of those wounds can come strength and wholeness when God is invited in to do His work.  There is no hard situation into which a child is conceived and born that God cannot redeem if He is permitted to do so.  Lies need to quit being perpetuated.  Children are a gift from God.  Being a mother is a blessing.  Wounds can be healed.

Join me today in thanking the mother in your life.  If she knows Jesus and led you to Him, thank her.  If she knows Jesus and you’ve resisted or strayed away, give her the best mother’s day gift ever and Come Home.  If you know Jesus and your mother doesn’t, then present Him to her.  She brought you into this world, maybe you can lead her into the next.


For living a faith-filled, transparent life, loving me, supporting me and being a wonderful mother and grandmother, thank you.  I love you Mum.

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A New Normal

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Mainstream media was irritating and has become even more so since covid.  I tune out the talking heads on a regular basis.  One would hope, with all that our nation is battling, there would be a laying down of swords and a meeting of the minds for the greater good of the citizens of this nation.  Besides nasty politics as usual, I’ve had my cup full of grim predictions.  I’m kind of fed up with having covid projected into the future.  Can’t we get through this first then look forward?  And, again, why does the future have to be so grim?

There is one thing, though, I have heard, that I hope is true.  I hope life will never be the same.  I  hope it’s better.  I hope husbands and wives have taken this time to reconnect and dream again.  I hope parents have taken the time to reintroduce themselves to their children and are reminded of what a blessing they are.  I hope children have come to respect and appreciate their family more than stuff.  It would be wonderful if we as a society move once again toward placing value on people over possessions.

I hope the single person has used this time wisely.  I hope they have carefully weighed the relationships they are currently in or were considering entering.  I remember taking a dating sabbatical and concentrating on prayer and the Bible and becoming the type of mate a man would want rather than finding the type of mate I desired.  On the surface it might have seemed lonely, but it wasn’t.  My trust and expectation in the LORD grew exponentially during that time.

I really hope the U.S. citizen, especially those whose states are under the control of power-hungry, illogical, irrational governors, resists socialism and appreciates capitalism.  More than that, I hope we as a people repent of our ingratitude and appreciate the value of a land whose motto is, “One nation under God.”

I hope in general for a quieter, slower, kinder world.  I don’t fear the “reset” button, I long for it–along with new, improved life on top of that.  I refuse to be discouraged.  God said He’d work all things for good to those who love Him who are the called according to His purpose.  Quite frankly, it’s been a l o n g time since my hopes have been this high.

My greatest hope is that we won’t have “church as usual”.

I was going through a really rough time several summers ago.  I asked the LORD why it was so hard.  He said satan had come to distract and discourage me.  He saw light and movement all around and didn’t know what was happening but knew God was on the move so came to thwart my focus.  I look around the world and wonder, Was this Word just for me at that time?  I don’t think so.  I think satan has come to distract and discourage God’s expectant remnant because he sees the Spirit of God weaving heavenly works all over the place.  All he could think to do to prevent a great outpouring of the Holy Spirit, one which the remnant has been praying for, is to saturate our land with sickness.  More importantly, let fear run rampant.  We cannot be in fear and faith at the same time.

So it is my greatest hope that when church families join together again there is a spiritual power, the likes of which our generation has never experienced.  I hope God’s kids have taken this time to repent and recharge and coming together is much like that of a husband and wife who look forward to their reunion after an extended, forced separation.  You know what comes out of reunions like that?  Babies!  Lots and lots of babies!  Get ready, people of God.  He’s coming on a wave.  Don’t be swallowed up by it, ride it with Him.  Covid pales in comparison to what God has planned.

Yes, things may never be the same again, and in a sense, I sincerely hope they are not.  I hope people return to the greatest commandments, the two on which the Mayflower Compact were based: Love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength and Love your neighbor as yourself.

I hope people’s vision has changed.  I hope we choose to look up.  I have.  For there lies my Hope.  There lies my Redemption.  There lies the Answer to my everything.  I refuse to let grim predictions sully my soul.  I hope you’ll join me in this rebellion.  Let’s remember the only voice worth listening to, God’s.  The only hand worth holding, God’s.  The only future worth seeing, God’s.  The only life worth living, God’s.  The only victory we’ll be celebrating, God’s.  To God be all the praise, glory, and honor, Amen.

I love exercising to this song!

No Door

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I awoke to snow on the ground.  In April.  That’s not necessarily unheard of here, but we’re more accustomed to the March coming “In like a lion and going out like a lamb” kind of weather concept.  April is supposed to be sunshine and rain and tulips and Easter lilies.

The snow and cold adds insult to injury.  Was it only less than two weeks ago that our pastor came to us via internet and said the difficult decision had been made to close the church doors for a month?  A month!  And with it being Easter?!  I cried.  I can’t remember ever missing celebrating the Resurrection of my Savior with church family.  I cried again the next day.  Then hope came in an unexpected way.

I was watching a Christian program.  They were showing the streets of Jerusalem.  The streets were empty.  The merchants’ doors were closed.  The doors to the Church of the Holy Sepulcher were shut tight.  Few prayed at the Western Wall.  What an eerie sight and silence preceding the wondrous celebration of Passover.  Then. . .

. . . a picture of a tomb. . . with no door.

The angels asked the women who had gone to Jesus’ tomb, “Why do you seek the living among the dead?  Jesus of Nazareth which was crucified is not here.  He is risen as He said.”  

He is risen.

Covid-19 will prevent our gathering as is our custom.  But it will not prevent joy, gratitude, songs of praise, hope, supplication, and faith from swelling in my heart and escaping from my lips.  Jesus is alive!  One would think that the very reason that such controversy exists after nearly 2000 years is some kind of proof that something supernatural happened.

In Matthew 27:22 Pilate asked the crowd, “Then what should I do with Jesus who is called the Messiah?”

The same question still begs to be answered.  Whatever plagues us today will disappear and fade away, but the question remains, “What will I do with Jesus?”  I know what I’m doing, I’m journeying with Him.  And this particular weekend I am remembering the sacrifice He made for me and I am thanking Him for it.  “What will you do with Jesus?”  It is my sincere hope that you are joining me in journeying with Him.


GOD > satan


brown concrete building beside bare tree
Photo by Nick Demou

Just recently, I ordered a tank of cooking fuel and topped off our heating fuel tanks.  Both of the delivery guys left the bill in my door.  This is not normal practice.  Normally, they  knock, I answer, they hand me the bill, I pass them a check.

I caught the cooking fuel delivery guy at the bottom of the porch steps.

“Don’t you want your check?”  I asked.

He shrugged, looking totally deflated.  “I guess they want you to send it in,” he said, and off he shuffled.

Cooking fuel delivery guy is a sociable guy.  Our habit is to make small talk while I write the check and the day seems cheery somehow because of it.  That day, cooking fuel delivery guy looked totally defeated.

It was much the same with heating fuel delivery guy.  I spoke to him through my window.  He didn’t look near as dejected as his counterpart, but his smile was a little sad as he said it’d be best if I sent the payment in.

Isolation is hard on people.  The little things we take for granted daily, such as passing a check to someone without the fear that the ink is poison, feels like a thing of yesteryear.  My heart especially goes out to people who lived relatively isolated lives prior to all of this craziness.  I think of the single person who counts on chats at the coffee shop and the elderly person who seeks camaraderie through senior centers.  We have our nice, little 5 family, so named by the girls.  But what of those whose outlets have been shut off?

Isolation also made me think of something, or rather Someone, contrary: Jesus.  He went in when others went out.  Think about it: He touched lepers.  Lepers!  Who does that?  He didn’t take leprosy, He gave healing.  His actions were so contrary to what we’re being asked to do today.  Do I understand?  Yes, I understand.  People are getting sick.  People are dying.  But people have always been getting sick.  And people have always been dying.  Do we really need a pandemic to point that out?  Do we need a pandemic to appreciate our freedom to worship and gather together?  Do we need a pandemic to appreciate the sharing of a meal with family and friends?  Do we need a pandemic to appreciate a hug or the simple act of handing over a check without fear that it possesses some contagious disease?  Do we need a pandemic for people to be kind, and do selfless acts, and give of their own abundance?

This may be the beginning of a series of bad things to come.  There may be more plagues, more pestilence, more outrageous things happening in the weather and in the natural world.  Covid-19 may be  part of our dress rehearsal.  Are we covered with the armor of God?  Are we wearing the helmet of salvation, the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, and are our feet ready to go and share the Gospel?  Are we taking up the shield of faith and using the sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God?  (Ephesians 6:14-17).  Are we covered by the blood of Jesus?

Please, DO NOT FEAR.

This may also be the beginning of things too wonderful for us to imagine.  God will outdo any evil thing the devil devises with His goodness.  I am telling you, there are good things that are going to come at the end of this battle.  And as battles continue to come, so will the victories.  God does not know how to lose.  Remember the idiocy of satan?  He did everything he could to destroy our Savior–he even killed Him.  But you know what he discovered?  God’s resurrecting power is greater than death. GOD IS GREATER, period. 

Join me today in the epic challenge to turn aside from all negative voices that incur fear and hear only the voice of the LORD which inspires faith.  His report is the only one we should be putting our faith in (Isaiah 53:1).  He earned our trust.  He beat death with an ugly stick.  Jesus willingly suffered in very specific ways and places to deliver us from very specific curses.  (Again, I strongly recommend Larry Huch’s book,  Free at Last: Breaking the Cycle of Family Curses).  We don’t need to struggle.  We need only believe and speak His Word.

I don’t know why, but songs and choruses from yesteryear are coming to visit me.  This is the song that’s going through my head today and I think it’s perfectly suited for today’s content.  If the music isn’t your style, please at least take the words to heart.


Part of the Bridge:
God is greater (than the wisest man)
Greater (than the power of sin)
God is greater (than the gates of hell)
Greater (than any tongue can tell)
God is greater (than the richest king)
Greater (than anything!)

Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world.

🙂 Let’s expect a supernatural releasing of God’s power in our lives and in our world today.

A Safe Place


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On January 20th of this year, the United States of America had its first confirmed case of the coronavirus (COVID-19).  We live in a very rural area.  So rural, in fact, that the gravity of this virus did not sink in until the last two weeks.  I don’t even recall hearing about it until a month ago.  For us, it seemed to come out of nowhere.  (I don’t watch much news because it’s devastating to one’s psyche.  I mean that).  God dropped a memory into my mind during prayer this morning and I felt compelled to share it with you.

On January 5th of this year, before we were even aware of the existence of COVID-19, a prophetic Word was given at our church.  I try to record as many and as much of the prophecies as I remember.  This is what I felt the LORD wanted me to share with you today, directly from my journal:

“I have drawn you in circles of love.  I have called you by name.  I love you.  Come to Me.  Step into My embrace.  Let Me cover you for you do not know the time, the evil, what is coming, what lurks in the shadows, but I do.  I would protect you.  Step into My embrace.  Let Me cover you.  Come into My bosom.  I will be to you a shield and a buckler.  Will you continue to refuse and resist Me?  Do not.  Come to Me.  For you do not know the time or the evil.  I AM your Father, Healer, Friend, Savior, Deliverer–all you could ever want or need–I AM.  Come to Me.” 

I immediately thought of the scripture from Isaiah 26:20:

Come, my people, enter thou into thy chambers, and shut thy doors about thee: hide thyself as it were for a little moment, until the indignation be overpast.

In my mind, the message was an upgrade from this particular verse.  The LORD wasn’t telling our congregation to hide themselves, He was saying He would hide whoever would step into His embrace.  That was incredibly comforting.

There were also a few unusual words that stuck out to me so I drug out my Strong’s Concordance.  These are the simple notes I made and scripture I wrote:

bosom-meaning to enclose

shield-prickly, pointed, piercing

buckler-something surrounding the person

He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.  Psalm 91:4

Those who do not refuse or reject Him will be surrounded, totally enclosed with a protective barrier that is covered with an encasement of outward piercing thorns.  A long time ago I got a tip from a woman: she planted rose bushes outside beneath her windows to deter intruders.  Piercing thorns is a big deal.  It’s what the enemy of our souls gets when he messes with God’s kids…and more.

I don’t know that COVID-19 is what God meant when this Word was given to us in January.  To be of a truth, I believe this is more of the earth’s groaning as in the pains of childbirth due to man’s sin (Romans 8:22) and there is more to come, much more.

I can hear you now, “Way to go, Christi, you just ruined your encouraging  word.”

But I did’t.  It is encouraging.  Do you hear?  God’s prophets are speaking.  His Word is alive and well and going forth.  The question is, will we listen and obey?  Obedience brings a blessing (Deuteronomy 28, first half).  Will we receive the Word and act on it today?  The choice is ours.

Please join me today in prayer for a worldwide end to this dreadful virus.  More so, let us pray for worldwide revival.  The LORD has spoken.  We do not totally comprehend the time or the evil that lurks in the shadows, but He does.  God has issued us an invitation to step into His embrace and let Him be to us our shield, our buckler, our everything.  Please join me and accept the invitation.

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.  Romans 8:28